Aligning with the Right Energy: A Gift of Clarity & Finding Your True Self

Someone once said: “Breaking up with a friend can sometimes be more painful and confusing than breaking up with a lover.”

I used to doubt this, until I experienced that hollow feeling myself—watching close friends gradually walk out of my life. It wasn’t because of loud arguments, but because of the silence that comes when two worldviews no longer touch.

In truth, not everyone exists on the same level of awareness, and no one is wrong for that.

We each grow at our own rhythm, with our own unique beliefs and fears. Some are extroverted and open; others are daydreamers who love to tell stories. Some are resilient and strive endlessly but are clumsy with words; while others appear soft on the outside but hold a complex interior. We interact with them through layers of experiences that perhaps even they do not fully understand about themselves.

And then, there comes a time when those differences create misunderstandings that no one intended.

1. When "Settling" Disguises Itself as "Peace"

The story begins when I realized that our definitions of “Peace” were vastly different. Some people choose peace as a warm blanket to hide from external pressures. They say they have no ambition, that they simply want a gentle life.

But in psychology, this is often a mechanism called Rationalization. Humans tend to find noble-sounding excuses like "living slowly" or "knowing when is enough" to mask their fear of failure or procrastination. When that blanket feels too comfortable, they start to believe it is the truth.

And I—someone who believes that facing reality is the only way to grow—made a naive mistake. I tried to pull them out of that blanket with sincere advice. But I forgot one crucial thing: When someone is not ready to wake up, even the brightest sunlight can be blinding and uncomfortable.

2. Defense Mechanisms and the "Negative" Label

That is when the Defense Mechanism inevitably kicks in. When the truth touches the "blind spot" of one's ego, instead of facing the issue, people often choose to attack.

They labeled me as "overthinking," "negative," or "on a different wavelength" to protect a fragile self-image. They turned my honesty into the villain in their story. I used to feel sad about this, but now I understand: it wasn’t my fault. It is simply how people protect themselves when they lack the courage to face the truth.

3. The Paradox of Being "Carefree"

The most ironic part of this journey lies in the contradiction between words and actions:

• There are those who proudly claim to be "carefree and simple," yet silently keep score, holding onto grudges over honest words for a long time.

• Conversely, the person labeled as "complex"—me—turned out to be truly carefree, trusting friends completely without suspecting the undercurrents.

This paradox taught me a valuable lesson about reading people and managing energy: Words are sometimes just a disguise; actions reveal the true essence. True simplicity should be a mind as light as flowing water, not a smiling face hiding a heavy heart.

4. Purification and the Opportunity to Grow

When the emotional storm passed, I realized I was actually lucky. This departure was not accidental; it was a necessary and kind signal from the Universe.

The small disappointments and subtle jabs in the past were "red lights" that I ignored out of kindness. This final push was the clearest answer for me to cleanse my life: filtering out unmatched mindsets, identifying those who spread negativity, and most importantly, making space for truly quality relationships—people who are ready to face the truth and grow together.

It’s not that they are bad people. It’s simply that we are no longer on the same frequency to walk together.

5. A Message to You

To anyone feeling heavy-hearted because of a drifting friendship: Don’t try to force a shoe that doesn’t fit, and don’t ignore the cracks that have been there for a long time. True peace comes from daring to live true to your aspirations and bravely letting go of what no longer belongs to your journey.

Every letting go is a step of growth. Every empty space left behind is an opportunity to welcome something better. Believe that peace will always find those who keep their energy in the right rhythm.

I am writing this not to target anyone. I am simply sharing a journey of collision, misunderstanding, hurt... and healing.

If you read this and feel it touches something inside you—perhaps this post has fulfilled its purpose.

We are all learning to become better versions of ourselves. And sometimes, losing a few people... is the Universe's way of helping us find those who truly belong.

Thank you for once being my friend. And thank you for leaving, so that we can both be fully ourselves.

Vocabulary Highlights (Góc học tiếng Anh):

• Worldviews (n): Thế giới quan.

• Rationalization (n): Sự hợp lý hóa (lấy lý do để biện minh).

• Defense Mechanism (n): Cơ chế phòng vệ.

• Blind spot (n): Điểm mù (của cái tôi).

• Contradiction (n): Sự mâu thuẫn.

• To keep score / To hold a grudge: Để bụng, ghim gút, thù dai.

• Undercurrents (n): Sóng ngầm.

• To force a shoe that doesn’t fit: Cố ép chân vào giày chật (Cố chấp trong một mối quan hệ không phù hợp).